If you are actively working towards your wildest dream life or if you have aspirations of becoming successful in any way possible as portrayed in the media, you may have wondered the following:
- Is consuming self-help content worth it?
- Is it truly possible to live a dream life?
- Should I follow the advice of successful people if they sound urgent?
- Am I living my life wrong if I do not listen to them?
- Should I master their skills?
There are countless advertisements over the Internet about success stories and money making opportunities to not miss. It may appear like it is just an oversaturated market meant to trap people into believing in fairy tales. There is no denying that there are a lot of terrible content out there to fool others (trust me, I once believed in them too, more about that below), but in this post, I will open up about my experience being immersed in it.
My Early Belief
Someday, if I ever succeed in achieving my wildest dream life, I will refer any curious reader to this post along with many of my essays to let them know that I worked my way in life while taking in advice from external resources. Since this blog is still in its infancy at the time this post has been published, I do not believe that it is successful at all. Rather, it will serve as an experiment for myself and for anyone wondering if seeking self-help advice leads anywhere. My goal is never to become an apex predator at the top of the food chain figuratively speaking by being praised by the whole world, becoming a famous star, becoming viral or anything related to glamour.
Escaping Negativity
Growing up living in a very negative and pessimistic household, I found myself surfing the Internet for success tips and reading books I could find to become the best at anything. I relied heavily on external help to compensate for the lack of love, support and gratitude that I could not get from my family so to me, it is literally a lifesaver. I also had a very deep and pronounced hunger for success that I was somewhat ashamed of publicly displaying. I was watching a lot of motivational videos and speeches to get through high school and life in general. I wanted to discover people out there similar to me that became successful and happy in their lives so that I could look up to them. I consider self-help to come in many forms other than specific content tailored towards life advice. For instance, I was always deeply inspired by fictional characters especially from animation shows with heroes. I always wanted to emulate movie protagonists that I admired, because they were really inspiring and I felt strong emotions when watching them. The characters and the actors were who I aspired to look like and they occupy very special places in my childhood heart. I also watched, read and listened to the content of people that seemed interesting to me on Youtube or in any documentaries.
How I Got Into It
I inadvertently dived into self-help specifically only in 2013, because I became interested in language learning, rapid skill acquisition and in memory improvement. I remember coming across the following popular figures:
I really wanted to become the smartest I could be and stack up the most achievements possible. That was also the first time I wanted to get scholarships to study abroad especially having learned about David Saint-Jacques, but later on failed miserably at it. I wanted to do everything I could to avoid major life pitfalls as early as possible.
The Early Effects
Although I did not achieve anything spectacular as a teenager, it still kept me motivated enough to stay in school, to try and get good grades, to get accepted into a prestigious university and to graduate from an engineering program. My life was by no means what I dreamed of but from the outside looking in, it did not look bad at all. Especially during university, I really relied heavily on watching Youtube videos, because I was very depressed and my grades were crumbling. Life and serious responsibilities really dawned on me and I became significantly more nervous about my future and insecure about not having achieved enough. At the same time, because I was entering early adulthood, I had to make money and support myself to pay bills so I could not afford to drift around too much. I needed actionable advice and work opportunities quickly. I read biographies of famous movie stars, athletes or about individuals that I admired to try and implement their success methods (habits, diet, tools, etc.). Even though I knew about entrepreneurship in my childhood, the path of becoming one really appealed to me during that period. I do not feel like it is necessarily romanticized nowadays but simply more commonplace especially with viral news spread over the Internet and the meteoric rise of social media.
The Self-Help Pitfalls I Fell For
So like I mentioned, in my teenage years and during my early adulthood, because I was so insecure and anxious about my future, I thought to myself that I had to learn everything there is about life that successful people popular over the Internet or in daily life URGE everyone to know before it is too late. I realize now that most of the content I believed before were all overrating negativity, fear and hardships. Back then when I was a teenager, the messages that I fell for were the following:
Successful rich people sacrifice a lot of their free time and their life pleasures in their early years to reap life rewards later. The subscribe heavily to delayed gratification.
Working relentlessly for 100 hours or more weekly in two or more jobs will get you ahead in life than most people.
You will become a loser if you don’t have X amount of money by the time you reach your mid 20s.
If you do not have a job while you are a teenager, you are not making good use of your time and you are setting yourself up for laziness. (At the time, ALL of the high school peers around me had one except me)
High School and university do not teach us well how to thrive in life and you do not need degrees in any of them to succeed.
And many more…
Of course, living in a very negative household fueled some of these beliefs in me even more (especially the first 4 ones) , because they were essentially reaffirmed by my parents.
How I Avoid Them Now
I think that anyone can benefit from some form of self-help and there is no shame in admitting that one has looked into it. One guy I met during university ,who I stopped being friends with, once told me that only weak people fall for inspirational fluff. I think anyone who pretends like they are born flawless and in no need for external help (online or not) are liars who look into it but would never admit to. Throughout school, I got further familiar with amazing smart students with different kinds of mindsets helping me greatly with my own. Nowadays, I am still absorbing as much knowledge as possible from anyone anywhere online or not although to a lesser extent than during high school and university. I avoid anything that feels too discouraging, negative or focused on putting others down heavily so that whoever saying it can feel better. Any REAL successful person would rather put all of their energy into their own lives or in their family over any stranger’s. This is very subjective though and I have learned throughout the years what works for me.
My Top Online Resources
Over the years, I gathered what I consider to be my most beneficial resources to follow. What I really like about all of them is that they contain information about people making or getting stuff done (or making life decisions), giving them to others , explain their mindsets and how their lives changed throughout mostly positively (financially, mentally, physically or in overall well-being). Of course, they have anecdotes, emotional metaphors and inspirational components to them, but I still find these essential, because it makes it fun as opposed to raw and dry. It is important to note that I do not agree with EVERYTHING that these resources share or advise and I do not watch, read or listen to every single piece of content that they provide. I can tell you from first-hand experience that it is very easy to get distracted by them and not actually make real life progress. Therefore, I made a rule to myself to only look into whatever sparks my interest AFTER sorting everything that I need to in my own life. I also only look into them whenever I want to relax with something worthwhile to listen to or to read about.
Below is a list of all the podcasts I listen to while in the car, exercising or during housekeeping at the time this article was published. Some also offer written transcripts which I really like :
- Naval Ravikant
- Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal
- How I built this with Guy Raz
- Lex Fridman Podcast
- Stanford GSB: View from the Top
Similarly, when it comes to reading personal essays, success stories or life decision articles, I enjoy the following websites:
In addition, the following is a list of books I read and that I was greatly inspired by:
- Happiness hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt
- The Science of Evil by Simon Baron Cohen
- Heroes by Scott T. Allison and George Goethals
- John D. Rockerfeller and his career by Silas Hubbard
- Atomic Habits by James Clear
- Sports Psychology by Britton Brewer
- The Holy Bible Old and New Testament (in French, English, Spanish and Malagasy)
- Lessons for life by Story Musgrave
- Zero to One by Peter Thiel
- 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing by Al Ries and Jack Trout
- The Lean Startup by Eric Ries
- Superman: Earth One
- 46 Rules of Genius by Marty Neuimer
- Denise Cléroux la Canadienne de Madagascar by Jacqueline Cardinal
The bottom line is that everything I learned from books, videos and blogs was and still is incredibly useful! Like I mentioned, the content literally saved my life and during my darkest moments, I always remind myself of people who share personal struggles similar to me, but still accomplished their dreams. I was not born with a business mindset, with a natural charisma/confidence for success or with mental toughness, but I can absorb from others out there much more competent and grow from there.
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